Cardamom 'Quickie': 1 Step to the Secret of the Aaah! Moment
Updated: Sep 30, 2019
Last weekend it was our wedding anniversary and while we were quietly enjoying a drink together, I couldn't help but recall the day of our marriage. Like any other wedding, ours too was a busy one with a few things going wrong at the last minute, like the live band overloading the power supply.
Amongst all this chaos, our good doctor's presence was a graceful one. Calm, composed and ever-smiling, he had almost become a member of our family by then.
We had done our part in spreading the word around about the amazing work he was doing, to all our friends, extended family and colleagues. That gave the much-needed boost to his practice and slowly more people came for his advice.
It was the least we could do for all that he had done for us, for his fees was meager compared to the services he rendered to us. It must be understood, that Ayurveda considers the state of mind of the healer as well as the recipient of the healing. And a benign one is priceless. And so true it rings in the song :
"You should never take more than you give, in the circle of life... - Sir Elton John OST Lion King"
It is good Karma that we had a wonderful human being as a doctor. Not only did he practice Ayurvedic Medicine, but he also followed some ancient values, which I often find missing in today's world.
He never charged a fee, which was already astoundingly low compared to other doctors, to anyone whom he believed could not afford his treatment. In spite of the fact that his share of patients went to more affluent doctors, yet he never gave in to greed.
Today, when reading about medical extortion in South Asian countries and medical negligence across the world, I often wonder whether we as human have really evolved or is it that our greed has no bounds.
Going back to our wedding day, I recalled the doctor wishing us a healthy and happy married life and secretly passing a note to my husband. He did give me a small pouch nicely wrapped in silk. I had often asked my husband what was in that note and he never revealed the secret to me till last weekend
I must confess I was rather taken aback when he grinned as he revealed it all. After so many years, it was surprising to know that the doctor had a 'naughty' side to him as well.
Come to think of it, today one of the rising problem across the world as per the World Health Organisation is Sexual Health, Sexual Dysfunction, besides HIV/AIDS etc.
The findings of National Center for Biotechnology Information in the USA, after a decade of research, is indeed an area of concern where it states that "Sexual dysfunctions are believed to be among the more prevalent psychological disorders in the general population (Spector & Carey, 1990).
The sales data and media attention associated with recent biomedical treatments (e.g., Viagra) corroborates the commonness of such dysfunctions."
Statistically, NCBI has revealed that "Sexual dysfunctions are highly prevalent, affecting about 43% of women and 31% of men.
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder has been reported in approximately 30% of women and 15% of men in population-based studies, and is associated with a wide variety of medical and psychologic causes."
And "In addition to their widespread prevalence, sexual dysfunctions have been found to impact significantly on interpersonal functioning and overall quality of life in both men and women."
Glancing up at the facts and figures one would wonder whether there is more to a relationship than just living together.
I think there is. And that has raised a number of questions in my mind, why are seemingly happy couple filing for divorce? Why do the quietest houses have silently parting partners?
Why is it that a Mobile app has increased the rate of extra-marital affairs? Is the man to be blamed or the women?
Why talking about women's desire still a taboo in certain countries, yet those very countries don't shy away from child marriages? Why women scarred by early sexual violence never the same?
Why do men have to 'perform'? Isn't the 'pressure to perform' makes the act a reflection of his own ego, instead of a mutual exchange of pleasure?
The human psyche is a labyrinth and the mind full of questions.
And yet the American Sex-Symbol puts it so succinctly when she says :
"Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. - Marilyn Monroe"
Ayurveda believes that the rightfully captivating cardamom comes to the rescue.
For one thing, cardamom too is a mood booster. Interestingly, you would find these spices being used extensively in South Asian particularly Indian, Middle Eastern dishes, especially in delicacies meant for important occasions.
And a feast without food cooked in these spices during marriages, baby showers and engagement parties would be unthinkable in those cultures.
On a wry note, the population of those countries does speak volumes. They are certainly doing something right! or maybe too much!
So it's no wonder that (here is where I share the secret - what I had unearthed after decades of our married life) that the gift to me was cardamom with the secret recipe slipped into my husband's hand.
The doctor would bring odd gifts like neem leaves, raw turmeric (Curcumin) etc., so there was nothing surprising about 'Cardamom Gifts' on the Wedding Day.
Ground Cardamom seeds and honey can keep the urinary tracks clean and safe from urinary infections in both men and women. And as per Ancient Ayurveda, cardamom plays a significant role in the remedy of sexual dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
A pinch of cardamom seed powder in boiled milk and honey is taken every night to yield 'bed-breaking' results! (Yes! all pun intended)
And while you are 'breaking beds', do give it a thought about the emotional aspect to it.
I am sure you would all agree that the only thing that separates a mere 'carnal act' from a wholesome 'lovemaking' is the 'emotional connect'.
And in today's busy life with all the technology and communication 'apps' at our disposal, emotional connect is the singularly essential element missing in our life.
It all boils down to our choices and how we have prioritised them. For example, if you have prioritised to pursue monetary wealth, fame and power at any cost, then probably you should stop reading any further and just make yourself a cup of cardamom tea and get down to your business.
Oh yes! Cardamom tea is recommended for you too! How else do you think you will handle the surmounting pressure, you too need a mood booster. See, Nature is so fair and generous.
Continuing with my previous example, on the contrary, if you have prioritised a balance of everything in your life, namely family, inter-personal relationship in the family, job, children, health, savings, earnings etc, etc. Then you must make 'time' for each of them. More the priority, more it demands time.
And the relationship between man and woman, particularly the married ones form the core of a family. Therefore, it becomes indispensable that one gives undivided attention to the other.
So please do 'make time' for the spouse to give undivided attention and make that emotional connection.
And since I write and share ancient natural knowledge, and simple DIY, here are some very interesting 'suggestions' by Sage Vatsayana, the one who wrote Kamasutra in the 3rd century (AD) in India.
First, the basics.
Vatsayana observes that women need to be pleased first and must be encouraged to climax initially. The reason is backed by the current scientific findings, that a woman, unlike a man, can have multiple orgasms.
And to please a woman before the act, he recommends these simple things.
Note : ( I purposely used the word 'please' instead of 'seduce' because that is exactly the man is expected to do - make her a happy, willing, complying partner without feeling that she needs to submit to the man's urges. Man! You will never receive unless you give. That is how the game is played )
Bring the gifts she loves. I can already feel some men squirming, thinking about expenses. If expensive things could make us happy, wouldn't all the richest blokes in the world be happiest? Just don't buy really cheap ones!
Remember - Women admire taste! Flowers, Necklace, Earrings, Toe-rings, thin waist chains with a tiny pendant attached to it - all can be turned into superbly sensual turn-ons.
Dote on her and insist that you want to tie the flowers on her hair, or the earrings, or the necklace, or the toe-ring, or the waist chain. These are highly erogenous zones and you have just gained access to these. Make good use of them.
Ladies - Please try and avoid thinking about your office deadlines or your housework. And give your man the benefit of doubt, if his gift is not expensive 'enough'. His intentions and actions that follow must be your main concern.
Tell her, that this was the time he has been waiting for. How he had pined for her so long only to be kept occupied with work. Compliment her about a day, when she looked beautiful and how she looks lovely now.
Guys! Compliments work like a charm. But remember - Women have x-ray eyes they see through you if you fib. That may lead to a lot of post unwanted analysis of your behaviour.
Be honest - She will love you till eternity. So, think about something that you really found worth complimenting her for. Compliments on looks work the best with women.
“When a man loves a girl ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking'.” ~ Vatsyayana, Kama Sutra
Hold and gently press her hands. Caress them softly. If she has her hair done, stay away from playing with her hair. If not, then that's another erogenous zone, her neck, shoulder - all they need is a gentle but firm touch.
A neck and shoulder massage can work wonders on women. Gentlemen, women actually take more stress than yourselves even when they are engaged with housework. A feet rub can be equally rewarding to de-stress. And make her more receptive to your moves.
Ladies! Being the more emotionally intelligent species, you must have understood his intentions by now. Do relax and enjoy, for you are in for a treat. This is not the time to think about your vital statistics or that double chin or that slightly bulgy tummy.
Don't let all those articles on looking perfect, turning on your partner and blah blah ruin this moment. You are a woman and is the perfect creation of Nature.
Gentlemen make your move. And when you do, and this will come with practice, don't start making calculations about how 'long' you would want to make 'it' last. Your one and only focus should be your woman! Her reaction, her moans, her, sighs, and her passion!
There are 30 types of kisses, 12 kinds of embrace and 64 positions of sexual Act! If you are interested in the details, here is the book for you, and it is a great read too!
Vatsayana says "There are no rules when the game is on".
In other words, don't bring the Kamasutra book as a manual on the chosen day. Just allow yourselves to go in the flow.
As long are your focus is on your partner, know that you are on the right track.
A special note to men: Women, unlike yourselves, are turned on in a very different way. They are sensitive, and when I say sensitive, I mean not just emotionally. The smell, colour, touch, words, feelings, intentions, everything plays an important part in it. But most importantly, your intelligence, your honesty and your talks will remain etched in her mind forever, and will act a bitter-sweet memory of what you shared together.
Therefore, don't jump out of the bed as soon as you are done. Have a conversation and if you can't, just snuggle together as long as you want. Make the moment last - That is when you bond and connect!